Dear Breakfast: I just ate you half an hour ago. Why am I so hungry again? This is why I hate you, breakfast. You’re so unsatisfying.
A familiar musk, the thumping of bass through the floor, carpet stains in a carpetless elevator… Ahhhh… Dorm sweet dorm.
Oh wow, you’ve got some great legs there… What? I’m just talkin’ about this Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot…
If I’m still showing up as Daveecee in your “Following” section, log out and in again; that should fix it.
I thought simple summarization would be a thing of the past once I left high school. Yet here I am, paraphrasing like a madman.
I wish arm twitches were as fun for conversation as facial twitches. “Sorry… WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?” twitch
Disgruntled lines for Black Friday sales, road rage, Wal*Mart stampedes… ’Tis the season!
Beer, beer, everywhere, and not a drop to drink… What’s a guy gotta do to get a soda?
It’s that time of the season, again. Yep. Hair-cut time. I hope you have machetes in that drawer, hair stylist. I daresay you will need them