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current status: ordering ginger ale and gatorade on postmates because i can’t leave

i put my pants on just like anyone else. one sleeve at a time

got a free beer from the bar because my first one had a shard of glass in it #blessed

guy sits at bar
bar guy: can i have some water?
15 minutes later
bar guy: can i have some more water?guy leaves 15 minutes later
me:

people should be outraged about this https://twitter.com/ronaldklain/status/838960029961170944

“Of seven analysts who cover the stock, none recommend buying”

oof https://bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-03-06/snap-tumbles-for-first-time-since-ipo-as-analysts-say-sell

@CARROT_app so i’ve gotten a couple precipitation warning notifications on iOS after installing today… But I don’t have Carrot for Mac?

just had a cortado with @StrausOrganic whole milk and holy fuck it’s so creamy. it’s like fucking half and half. just amazing.

the Watch complication for @DarkSkyApp hasn’t worked in over a year

i’ve gotten so bored by posting restaurant reviews that i now write erotic yelp reviews

oh my fucking god my ear pressure didn’t normalize after the flight